Hi!

Well, I actually have a blogspot, that I write a lot in, and you can read it, if you want because I think sitting on here explaining my favorite color and band won't really let you know who I am. My name is Katie. I'm 19. I live in Wildomar, and I hate it that I go to a community college. After I'm done, I want to transfer to Berkley, but we'll see how that goes. I live with my mom and grandma. It's lame, but whatever. I have a boyfriend his name is Taylor. We've been together for six months. I have three best friends named Katrina, Sam, and Caity. I'm not really used to having friends like I have now. It's nice to feel like people love you for who you are. I wrote something last semester in my English class about my philosophy of life, and I figured that'd be the best way for you to get to know who I am. I'm just a normal human being, but I'd like to think I see the world in a different way. I love movies and reading and stuff like that, but who doesn't? Marie Antoinette, The Virgin Suicides, American Beauty, Igby Goes Down, and Wristcutters are my favorite movies. Anyways, here's the links to my other stuff.

My own personal blogspot is gaydee.blogspot.com, and I have a Tumblr too. It's gaydee.tumblr.com.





My Philosophy of Life

Your handwriting. The way you walk. Which china pattern you choose. It's all giving you away. Everything you do shows your hand. Everything is a self-portrait. Everything is a diary.” – Chuck Palahniuk

Too many people don't give me a chance. I've made plenty of mistakes, but they've made me who I am today. I think it's funny that so many people dislike me. I can be stuck up, but I know who I am. I think the issue is people envy that. Most don't understand how one can be so completely comfortable with whom they are. I know what I want out of my life. I want to teach. I want to watch generation after generation grow. I want the world to change. I want humans to be respected, I want animals to be respected, and I want nothing more than respect for our planet. I'm intelligent, and I'm not afraid to admit that I can be cocky. It's a personality flaw, but it keeps me strong. I want the world to wake up and start caring.

As of right now in my life, I don’t have a set philosophy. I know what I want out of my life, and I have somewhat of a plan, but basically, I just want to feel better than the average person. I want to make something of myself. I want to be set apart. Of course, my whole life I’ve felt set apart, but that’s a whole different story. Or maybe it’s not.

I was born on the 11th day of January in the year 1990. It was a rainy day. Growing up I was always encouraged to be myself, and I’ve never been afraid of being who I am. I used to dress myself in expensive dresses when I was young, and along with that I’d wear tennis shoes and two different colored socks. I went to private schools where, once again, my individuality was paid attention to and I was encouraged to be different. I was an only child, and very spoiled in my younger years, actually, until I was about fifteen. The environment I was raised in made it so that I was much focused on me and the attention was always on me. Therefore, I’ve grown up with this notion that I’m special and different. I’ve also come to be quite selfish and I take everything personally. But unlike the people I was raised around, mainly my mother and grandmother, I’m so much more aware of the world around me and aware that there are other humans with feelings and needs. I see outside my box, I see the bigger picture.

Whether or not you’d like to believe it, we’re all connected, humans and animals alike. There are no “chosen people”; there is no one way.

Exploitation is what ruins us and tears us apart as a society. We’re constantly taken advantage of and we fail to see because we think it’s what’s good for us. We’re babied into thinking that we need to be taken care of. The people who are “taking care” of us are killing us each day. Slowly, but surely, it’s happening.

My childhood made me very angry, and I carry that anger around with me today. My parents were constantly at odds with each other and I always felt frustrated with feeling lonely. I don’t remember much about being young, but I do know that it was tough for me to fit in. I was constantly deemed weird, and I think still today people are overwhelmed with my personality. I’m not afraid. Ninety-nine percent of the population of the world is told they can’t be who they are. Well, I have to disagree. And until the day I die, I’ll fight that notion.

There was a point of time in my life where I felt disgusting. I felt like I wasn’t appreciated for whom I was. I don’t even think I knew who I was, and I’ve always had an innate awareness of who I am. I was in an environment where the individual wasn’t celebrated and was looked down upon. I have an independent spirit, and I think living inside of us, we all do. We’re just constantly surrounded by things telling us we need to fit in. I’ve never fit in, and I’m proud of that. I don’t need anything or anyone to make me feel any less or any more.

If somebody’s your friend, they won’t leave when they feel threatened. They won’t get angry when you succeed, and they won’t be disappointed when you fail. They will love you no matter what, even when you hurt them. Cherish friendship and the individual behind the friend that you see.

I’m constantly frustrated with the world I see around me. I am smart. I am intelligent. But neither of those two things is appreciated anymore. Ernest Hemingway once said “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” Isn’t that the truth? When one knows that they themselves are smart, they see the stupidity and ignorance around them in a much clearer light. Most don’t see that. Most never will. The Bible even has a verse that relates. It’s in the book of Ecclesiastes. It states “For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases in knowledge, increases sorrow.” I think it has a lot more to do with being aware. Wake up! The world’s population is asleep, and it’s usually the quiet people who are sitting in their rooms angry about the world that know, and they never stand up.

Why?

Because in our society, the individual is not celebrated. And what do I think causes this?

Religion. Religion forces the human race into a box. Religion forces the mind into a box. Religion forces individuality into a box. It teaches us that we are nothing but drones. Drones to a giant example that we should follow. And if we don’t? If we decide we want to discover the truth all our own, we are out. We can’t go back. I was taught that was the only “unforgivable sin.” Where in the Bible does it mention unforgivable sins? Where? Exactly. Nowhere.

We have to break free from this cycle. Even if it’s not wearing underwear. I’m not saying give up everything that means something, or to quit driving a car, or to not have a job. I’m saying break free in your own way. Wear socks with flip flops. Sing in the grocery store. Shower every other day. Who says what’s normal anyway? What’s normal? I think that God sets the status quo, and I don’t like that. I don’t like status. I don’t like status quo.

I think my philosophy, or whatever it can be called, can be summed up in three words: awareness, individuality, and intelligence.

But that’s my philosophy for me, and the three things that I cherish the most.